Swine Flu Phenom.

I find it disturbing that just when we should be focused on something outrageous that our government is pulling that the government gives us something to focus on so we sort of forget about 1) war, 2) inflation 3) healthcare, etc. This year, it’s SWINE…. a few years ago, it was SARS, before that it was Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Swine flu. From Dr. Nany Schneiderman telling health care workers just to “get their DAMN shot” to the some states making it mandatory for hospital workers to get their vaccine, the world is going a little mad with this thing. If you’re a healthy person and practice safe hygiene including handwashing, gripping door handles and knobs with your sleeve pulled down and covering your hand, wiping your shopping carts down with at the door disinfecting wipes and good nutrition skills (plenty of water, fresh fruits and vegetables … stay away from empty calories (sweets and alcohol), then you should be just fine against the swine flu. I did all of this and still got the swine flu (although I did shop somewhere where they didn’t have those wipey things), but with all the natural health practices I do when I start to feel sick, I was down for the count for less than 48 hours. Four days into it and you’d never know I had it!

Double up on your multi-vitamins during cold and flu season, pile on the garlic into just about everything you eat, eat lots of onions too, throw together a berry smoothie everyday, sleep, watch your alcohol intake (it tears down your immune system, apart from a glass or two of red wine a week), eat two servings of raw fruits a day (the enzymes aid in digestion and keep your intestinal tract clean which is key to health), MOVE (get a little exercise everyday even if you’re marching in place at commercial times). Drink plenty of GOOD CLEAN WATER — forget the city water that comes out of your tap; it’s likely to make you sicker and tear your immune system down. To really build up your immune system, take Astragalus. It’s a Chinese herb that works with your deep immune system. The Chinese make a big pot of this soup during the winter season and eat it once a day. It works. I’ve used it for years.

Don’t forget to get the stress out of your life by: hot baths, walks, candles (these calm down any house), reading, holding family game night, playing with (and paying attention to…) your pets, journaling, painting, scrapbooking…. anything that relaxes you and doesn’t cause undue stress or drain on your energy will nourish your body and spirit. And these two tiny little things can keep you well throughout the winter months.

gloria

Growing Pains

This is a first for me, er, maybe not. I remember I was very nervous on my daughter’s first day of preschool in Italy. I remember walking back to our house and feeling like I was going to pass out on the sidewalk. This time, I drove her to her first day of middle school. She was supposed to ride the bus and was very excited last night to do so. When the alarm rang at 6 a.m. she asked if I would “PUUUUULLEASE” drive her so she could sleep a little longer. Of course! I wanted to hang on to her for as many more minutes as I could this morning.

On the way home, I thought I was going to throw up in the car. Okay, I hadn’t been feeling all that well lately anyway and had probably picked up a bug at work (or from a shopping cart), but I’m the “cool” mom. I’m the one that has lived out most all her dreams and am even encouraging my daughter’s dream of going to fashion design school in Italy. Uh huh. I should be able to let her go and do and be anything she wants, no matter how far away that takes her from me. At least that’s what I keep telling myself that I should be able to do. Somehow I don’t think I can let her go without me moving back there too. I’m familiar with the country, so what the hell?

This morning should have been no different than any other school year. It’s just a different building, right? But this year, I’m worried. She attended one of four elementary schools in the district. She’s attending the same school where I graduated. Could it be that all my bad experiences on the bus are coloring my peace of mind? You bet your ass they are. I don’t like that the sixth graders are riding the same bus as the high schoolers. Sixth and twelfth together? That’s just asking for trouble. I don’t like that she’s with four other elementary schools’ kids that are probably a little rougher around the edges than she’s accustomed to. She attended the elementary that’s a little more progressive than the others — the curriculum is a little tougher. My graduating class had well over 300 graduates and I’m happy to know that her class will have less than 290. That means less students per teacher. Last year’s ratio was 1:18.

I know the bus thing isn’t the only reason I’m quite nervous about this school year. I analyzed my malaise and can only surmise that it is because I’ve raised her alone. For those that don’t know, I was widowed while I pregnant, so it’s been mom and daughter from the start with a healthy dose of friends and family thrown in for support. My bond with her is still unshakable at the moment; I believe its a result of our years in Italy when we had only the two of us. And although I’m getting plenty of attitude at times, and more hormonal outbursts — she still wants to cuddle with me at the end of the day, still wants her hug and kiss before bed, still wants me to check on her before I go to bed and cover her up, and I still get to call her “lovey” (just not in public).

She came home from school today and was pleased to report that her friends thought it was cool that she was wearing heels, and “fashion” glasses. She told me that one girl even called her a “fashionista.” I’ve no doubt that she’ll want to go back to school tomorrow after such a successful day. I guess now it becomes less about grades and more about how you look while getting those grades! Fabulous…. just as long as the “in” look doesn’t become ‘sexy chic.’ That look is rated ’21 and over’ please.

gloria

Something’s Gotta Give….

I called my “real” closest girlfriend today. She lives an ocean away in Italy. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed her. I miss my life there too. My daughter and I talk about going back more and more these days. As we see America change and become less friendly even to Americans, we long for the simpler life we had in Italy. We didn’t have much, no one there really does. Even the richest Italians, don’t live like the richest Americans. They may live in palatial villas, but compare their homes to Bill Gates’ and you’ll find it’s not as technologically advanced (of course), or even well-heated with updated plumbing. Grocery stores aren’t as well-stocked. People wear clothes they’ve worn for years. The young people scour the open air markets for decent jeans (okay, so those are better here), fabulous shoes (those are everywhere) and one of a kind fashions. STUFF is cheaper here. I can go to the dollar store and buy all my household cleaning products for under $10! I’d need about $50 in Italy. Food is more expensive; cars are cheaper, but I can expect to pay a few hundred dollars to take the license test. Getting around is a much bigger challenge… fewer roads, rail and bus strikes, and childcare if you don’t have a relative there???…. forget it. It’s damn near impossible to get a babysitter and then they earn as much as I did as an English teacher.

If I went back now, at least I’d be an American-educated Registered Nurse. I know that the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center has a hospital in Palermo, but I can’t see myself living in Sicily…. too many public works left undone that would drive me up the wall.

I miss the slower pace in Europe; the greater reverence for living and no one being able to keep up with the Joneses. I appreciate how easy it is to live in America compared to there; I really do! But there is just something about there as opposed to here. I also appreciate that we have a better education system, although that can depend a great deal on where you live in America. When I first moved there, it took me about four months to really adjust to their way of living. You learn to do without a lot of stuff. After awhile, however, you don’t miss it as much…. and after an even longer time, you can’t imagine why you ever wanted or needed anything except what you have. It’s a simpler life. A more reverent life. You learn to do without air conditioning or screens on your windows for that matter — you don’t need them. You drink homemade wine, eat the freshest tomatoes and learn the difference between a good olive oil and a bad one. And I swear the sun there doesn’t scorch your skin like it does here, even though the heat comes up from Africa! I NEVER burned there and never wore sunscreen, figure that one out.

I think what I miss more than anything is the history and walking by building after building that has stood for thousands of years. We don’t even have anything 500 years old here.

I remember sending pictures back to the States of my visit to the Roman Forum. My dear young nephew exclaimed, “Yuck, why would she want to live there? It’s so run down!” Well, I’d move back tomorrow if I didn’t have to pack and start all over again. My daughter would be at a disadvantage for forgetting her Italian, but she could be tutored or better yet, enrolled at the International school in Rome.

I have more “stuff”…. or should I say more “convenient stuff” here. I indulge in my favorite pastimes — garage sailing in the summer and sipping expensive coffees on the patio of Starbucks and traveling freely between the States. You would think the lure of the easy would quiet my wanderlust and quench any desire to live in a country where you have to buy extra milk on Fridays because you may not find an open store until Monday afternoon!

With all the conveniences available to me in a country where I am a natural born citizen, I have to ask myself, are the conveniences merely a temptation which prevent me from living the life that wants to live in me?

MJ burnout and Oh My God, high-caloric drinks!

Enough MJ already. The man was a gifted performer. So was Sinatra. There’s good news on the horizon, Project Runway starts up again soon, and we’ll get back to important conversations!

MSN had an article about the worst drinks on the planet. I’m guilty of loving peppermint mochas from Starbucks, but I’ve had to ask for soy milk because I’ve discovered dairy gives me migraines. Lovers of Cold Stone Creamery’s peanut butter and chocolate milkshake (PB&C) should be aware that the more appropriate name is “potbellies and cardiovascular disease.” It has more calories in it than you should eat in a day and 3-4 days worth of fat grams (depending on what you set you limit to per day). This drink scores the number 2 slot, if you want to know which drink equals 29 Fudgesicles and a stick and half of butter, go to MSN.

I’m thinking this summer is the nicest spring to summer transition since I can’t remember when. Temps in the 70s, some rain, but not torrential, flowers not wilting (and neither am I). Wish I could have this weather year round, but I think I’d have to move to Palm Springs. California is beautiful with the sun, sand and surf, but I like getting my tax refunds too much to let the state hold onto them for me!

Found lots of new tools to manage Twitter: Tweetgrid, Tweetscan, AskTwitR, TweetVolume, iTweet, Twitterfox, Twitterfeed, Twitterpatterns…. lots to discover and use! I already make use of Tweetdeck, check it out if you haven’t yet. You can even see your friends’ updates in Facebook and post to both Twitter and Facebook at the same time!

gloria

Sorry France, We’re a Little Busy Over Here…..

I know that our government rolled out a stimulus package and that several businesses have taken advantage of it; unfortunately we’re still running a little behind one of our European counterparts, France. We did have a new administration to put into place and Vice-President Biden admitted that they read the economy wrong. So now we have to catch up and turn things around. The New York Time’s cover story regarding France’s stimulus packages showed a picture of a man repairing a column on the Grand Commun near the Palace of Versailles. The article stated that French workers who are accustomed to taking the summer off will be working to keep French chateaus, cathedrals and museums in good repair – we must not disappoint the tourists! Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t people still flock to the Coliseum in Rome? It’s still a ruin, right? I heard there’s a tower in Pisa that isn’t even standing upright and people visit it year ‘round! Those crazy Italians are just so gimmicky!

One of French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s advisors, a Mr. Devedjian, stated that the US is six-month’s behind in doling out the monies from our stimulus package. Hmm, let me think what we were doing six months ago, oh yes, replacing a President, forming a new administration and still keeping an eye on the rest of the world in case they got into trouble and needed us to DO SOMETHING! Uh huh. Thanks for giving us a minute to catch our breath. We are using our stimulus packages for saving as many of the little guys as possible, the ones that have been in business for years, have paid their taxes religiously; the ones that have served the people in their community. And yes, we’ve been trying to save our automakers too. We have directed money away from those places that are less crucial in today’s world, libraries (unfortunately, but people don’t need them the way they used to), museums and less needed city services (many communities had no fireworks this year) to name a few.

The thing about European countries like France is that there aren’t so many small businesses. There are artisans, to be sure, but by and large Europe counts on tourists. Repairs on their major sightseeing stops is compulsory to keep their nations’ coffers filled. We, on the other hand, have always been the work horse population of the world. No other country’s inhabitants work as hard as Americans work. So forgive us if our priorities are slightly different. You, dear France, must roll your stimulus monies out now to get your country’s attractions in place for the tourists. Excuse us, if we take our time to try to fix some of the underlying problems that caused this mess in the first place and save people’s long-term livelihoods. We don’t need to repair the aesthetics of it. It is what it is.

gloria

A car giant crumbles and bargains in Hamptons’ rentals!

I have New Times alerts sent directly to my cell phone and last night was surprised at a few minutes to midnight that my phone beeped and there was the news that GM’s assets were approved to be sold off to a new government-backed company. I immediately mused to my boyfriend “I wonder if that means China?” I giggled and then realized that it wasn’t all that funny. Our trade deficit with China is so large that our children’s children’s children will inherit the legacy. Lucky them.

On a more positive note, you can rent a home in the Hamptons (probably not beach front at this point) for a lot less than you could in the past. Along with your low-priced two-month rental fee of $225,000 you can get a facelift and a private staff to help you recuperate. I’m already in the car.

A sound artist has done a clever thing in New York. He’s taken recordings that he’s gathered from the pedestrian tunnel just north of the Central Park Zoo, edited them and is now piping the recordings back into the tunnel. While I think that it’s probably kind of interesting to listen to, I also like the sound of my footsteps and the birds as I walk through the tunnel. Mind you I haven’t been there in a while, but in the times that I’m the lone soul traversing through the expansive dome, the sound of my sneakers crunching leaves and stones sends a little tickle through me. I’ve often imagined the rest of world has disappeared or I’m hiding from deadlines, phone calls or my loved ones who are just getting on my nerves a bit that day. It’s my guilty little pleasure when I’m in New York that calls to me in my hotel room until I return to pay homage. And now it’s filled with sound…..that isn’t normally there…. that doesn’t happen by chance. Okay, so I’m trying to say it’s not organic.

Anyone that knows me knows that my preference is “organic” in just about anything — and that I can too put down my Blackberry….. as long as I know where it is!

gloria

News for July 4, 2009

There was one very poignant article that I read this morning in the New York Times, that I decided would be today’s focus for my blog:   The Family Friendly White House.

At first I thought perhaps the White House tour would be reopening.  Just my luck, I thought.  I was just there for the Cherry Blossom Festival and have no plans to return this year, at least.  Instead the article focused on the strife the people who staff the President and the First Lady feel when they miss dinners with their children, or their children’s school functions and basically these years when their young children are growing up.  While I understand completely the choices that must be made in order to keep a job and in order to do a job well, one NEVER gets these moments back.  And your child may not remember the first couple of times when you can’t be there for them, but by the third time, they come to expect it.  At some point, they will no longer ask you to attend anything.  This happened with my daughter and I tried to be at as many functions as I can, but it usually wasn’t two in a row.  After I finished nursing school and was a little more available, I chose to work every weekend night so I could be with her at some of the functions.  Wouldn’t you know, most functions were scheduled on Wednesdays which was my typical one night of the week that I had to work!  I switched whenever I could, but she had come to the conclusion that I was not available most of the time, and I stopped hearing about events.  When I would discover that a school party had taken place, or an important meeting that I had known nothing about, her defensive reply was “I knew you wouldn’t want to do anyway.”  In her mind, I didn’t want to go….. it had nothing to do with the fact that I couldn’t go.

So I toss my .02 to the support staff of the Obamas and say, “good luck,” because you’ll need it.  Nowadays, I bug my daughter’s teacher to make sure that I am staying in the loop, and I have positioned myself to work 8-hour night shifts and not 12s so I can be at any and ALL functions.  Of course, that just adds more items to my to do list, but I’m not just working for me.  I’m working to provide a good life for both of us, and if that means I cut my hours to spend more time with her, then we’ll just cut down on some of the extras that we don’t need…. like Starbucks and phone minutes.  We have a home phone and I don’t recall my grandmother, my mother or even my friend needing text messaging just to stay in touch.

Gloria

The Skin Horse

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

–Margery Williams Bianco.
“The Velveteen Rabbit”

I love this passage from this timeless children’s book. It speaks to who you become as you age and the love of the people in your life. I have seen this love in the eyes of elderly couples as they struggle with an illness. I have seen the devotion of one partner to the next in their staying at the bedside night after night. It is for those people that you know that visiting hours do not apply…. that your care of the patient extends to the family member too. Although your primary concern is that of the patient, that the loved one is made as comfortable as possible in whatever manner is possible. I have witnessed nurses going to a patient’s home to pick up something for the loved one who couldn’t get there or who was afraid to leave…. medications, clothes, a favorite ‘anything’. I have seen doctors return to the room after a 12 hour night shift and sit with the patient and the family member for a time. I have seen nurses aides VOLUNTEER to sit with a patient and the family member on their own time, to provide additional comfort.

Although there are nights that I’d rather be anywhere but at work, it’s usually on those nights that I witness miracles, love and devotion that I am not certain will abound in the future generations. My friends and I have come through the 60s, (yes, as kids, but we’ve witnessed it and my aunt liked to drag me right through it with her whenever I stayed at my grandmothers). We’ve seen long hair, free love, the ERA and the NRA. We’ve attended World Series of Rocks, we’ve watched the end of the Vietnam War and understood what it meant. We remember the hostages in Iran and Terry Anderson. We partied at the Cleveland and Akron Agoras. We listened to WMMS and WNCX when they used to duke it out for Cleveland’s No. 1. We matured, moved away, and came back. We’ve tried to keep pace with technology, but remember a simpler time. We’ve searched for love, found it, and lost it, and were worried we’d never find it again. We did, or we will. And hopefully, when we have it, we will not see the hair rubbed off, the loose joints, the shabbiness….. we will see the eyes of our love…. and hope our love sees the same, as someday one of us will take our place at the bedside with the devotion and love this generation still has.

Gloria

The fallacy of time and regrets.

Remember as a kid summers seemed to last forever? The lazy days spent on the swings, in the trees, playing hide and seek at night, running around barefoot? The days had an ease to them. A peace, and if you were lucky, your parents kept your world that way. You were able to relax and enjoy being a kid.

It’s so difficult for parents to maintain that today. Email, 100+ channels on the TV, iPods, cell phones… reading email on your cell phone, watching TV on your cell phone, sending text messages which take more time than an actual phone call. Hell, we even date through the aid of a computer now! So what happened to real time? Is that to become one of those archaic phrases that our children’s children will ask our kids, “What’s that? I’ve never heard of that.”

I returned from living in Italy almost six full years ago. I can’t believe I’ve been back that long. The time flew, I was 41 when I returned and am now looking at approaching a midlife number that used to be, in my mind, reserved for celebrating golden anniversaries. I think when I do reach that magic number that I should throw myself a golden anniversary party. It is the golden anniversary of my life after all.

It is my hope that by the time I reach that age that I will have my dearest love at my side. I don’t know that I know who he is just yet. He could be someone right under my nose, but as time goes by, I’m not so sure. And as time goes by, unfortunately, we will have less and less time together. I hope that when I realize who he is that we both understand that time is finite. I hope we can move quickly from point A to B to C and have a trust and faith that is built on faith and trust in the universe. I so love the universe’s way of correcting wrong actions and wrong thinking so he needs to understand that. In case you don’t know what I mean…..

The universe, God, or whatever you wish to call it has a wonderful way of bringing things and people into our life that we need and want…. sometimes they are not always perfect…. sometimes we just have to trust that the universe knows a little more about what we need and want than we do. The kicker is: the universe won’t let you keep it, unless you appreciate it. Like the old saying: ‘it giveth and it taketh away.’ The gift, for the most part, will remain unphased by the actions of the universe…. somehow someway, the gift will find its way to another deserving soul who appreciates it.

I had this happen for a time with my writing. I lost my edge and I still don’t have it back completely, but it’s getting there. I’ve never had it happen with a person…. I appreciate people and the gift that they are to my life. It only takes losing one to learn that lesson. Sometimes I think about people I truly care about. I picture them in a hospital bed in ICU and ask myself “could I lose them without EVER EVER EVER having the chance to speak to them again and have peace in my heart? Do they truly KNOW how much they mean to me?” I can say with conviction that I could think of 10 people in my life (because I just did) and know that they know how much I love them. They know how much I care. I don’t want regrets.

Regret. Now there’s a million dollar word. I don’t have many. And I’m determined that I will not have many more. It’s no way to live. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and feel I haven’t done some things that I had always wanted to do…. always wanted to try. And very soon….I’m going to dive into an area, that at 20-something, sounded half-repulsive. Yes, I said half. I’d like a hand to hold along the way…. literally. But I’m not waiting for it, because I don’t think it’s forthcoming anytime soon. (I could be wrong, but I’ve already been wrong once this year, so it’s unlikely! ha ha) The universe will back me up. It will tell me when it’s okay to take this next step. It’s been something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. And the time has come. It’s time to fish or cut bait, because time keeps tick tick ticking away, and I don’t want the universe to take THIS gift away from me. Because in the form that I have it now, it is a gift. The trust I need to feel is already there. It would just take too long to try to explain it to someone and to get them to wrap their head around it, and for me to trust them. So if I have to go there alone, although it’s not the ideal, I’m okay with that. The universe will provide the solace in its own quirky way.

Carpe Diem, soon.

The universe has been pulling out all the stops for me lately in my writing and I’m not going to ignore any of the gifts it is giving me right now. Because everyday there is something new that is pulling me along so quickly with its energy, I feel I’m being swept away to something I’ve wanted for so long. I DO NOT KNOW what it is…. I don’t know if it’s a someone, a some place or a some thing. But I know that it has a very big energy to it. It has the power to knock me off my feet. And it’s going to show up in my life as if it were always here…. kind of like walking into a brick wall… it didn’t just spring up over night, you just never walked into it before…. for me it would have to be something more girly, like I didn’t notice the Monet hanging on it and now I do.

Whatever it is, whomever it is, or whereever it is, I promise the universe this: I will be open for it, and I will not dismiss it if it arrives in a less than perfect package. I want no regrets.

I can’t wait to be surprised. Because truly, with all honest conviction in my heart, I have no idea of what’s coming. I’ve had these feelings many times before in my life, and each time, something absolutely mindblowing came out of it….. my daughter, my life in Italy were two of the big things. So I must wait and try not to be impatient, but I am a little giddy inside just waiting for it to be revealed.

Blessings,
gloria

Communication and Feeling Special

Relationships are challenging. They are work. But they don’t have to be daunting.

I can say with conviction that the relationships I’ve had with the men in my life, haven’t been too challenging because I’m a communicator. I talk, and more importantly, I listen. I SOOOO want to hear want what the person is saying so I can understand their true feelings. I want to hear what their heart is saying, not just their words. It kills me to think that I’m hurting them, or that I have hurt them. I want to know what that person needs from our relationship, what they crave. This does not mean that I can provide everything to them, but at least I know what I have to work with, and for, in order for them to feel special.  And everyone needs to feel special in a relationship, otherwise, why would we be in them?

And that’s a thing that I believe I’ve always been pretty good at….. making sure that the other person feels special. It isn’t about the gifts you buy, it’s about the time you invest.  I’ve figured this out.  I could easily go a buy someone a gift to show them how I feel…. or I could make a batch of cookies and while placing each cookie on the sheet, think about that person.  I’ve seen the movie “Like Water for Chocolate”.  The love just gets infused into what you create, when you create it yourself.  I don’t expect the same from my partner.  I don’t need handmade gifts from a guy.  But what I do appreciate are the little things like a cup of coffee brought to me after I wake up in the afternoon (after a night shift), my sidewalk and drive being cleaning off and salt thrown down, my car gassed up or washed, the garbage taken out, a household repair done.  THESE things, romance me…. completely!  I hold these little niceties in my heart for weeks.  Yes, it doesn’t take much to score major points with me.  And if a white rose is thrown in now and again, my heart is surrendered.

The biggest and most romantic gift to me, however, is something many people find it difficult to do well — good communication.  If my partner is angry with me and won’t talk to me, it wounds me to the heart.  To me, I’ve stopped being loved…. I’ve stopped being important. I can feel like my very breath has been taken out of my lungs. As a nurse, I know that the last remaining sense when a person is dying, is hearing.  Maybe this has something to do with it, I’m not sure, but it seems to make ‘sense’ to me.

When there are issues between my partner and I, I want to talk about them. I want to know that no matter how much we disagree, that we BOTH know, that it can be worked out, if we talk.  I am SO amazed sometimes about how mistaken I can be about someone’s thinking, and I love when I learn that I’m wrong and that a situation isn’t at all what I believed it to be…. sometimes good or bad.  I’m difficult to surprise, so when I am, I learn.  I learn what I wasn’t paying attention to.  I learn what I might have been reading into.

No matter what obstacles there are in a relationship, I am a firm believer that they can be worked through… if you simply talk to one another and you speak from your heart.

Blessings,
Gloria