Success is the Best Statement.

I used to think that success was the best revenge when someone tried to hurt me. Through half-mast eyes this morning after a night of trying to come to grips with something a person close to me said, I realized that I didn’t want revenge. It wouldn’t teach them anything anyway. I wanted to simply go on…leading my life the way I have been…. with my goals in place and my working toward them. Last night I wanted to leave the area. This morning I don’t care whether I leave or stay. The venue isn’t going to change this person. It would only change me.

So this morning, in the wake of still smarting a bit from yet another of those proverbial straws, I find I am not broken. Again, wiser. And a little more nonplussed by the nonsense than the time before that. And the next time, I’ll be even a little more-so. You eventually become accustomed to the water dripping on your head. I’m not one to wait for the perfect conditions to lead the life I want. If I did, I would have never thrown my coins into the Fountain.

This morning I embark on fine tuning that picture of my life that I have. It’s clearer than it was yesterday. Clearer than last week. Clearer and closer.

Success is not the best revenge.

Success is the best statement…. the statement of who you are and how you want to live.

My success lies in the fact that the way I want to live my life falls out of my mouth and into being. How lucky am I to have learned that I have the power and will to do that no matter how many straws are stacked?

gloria

Groaning from the Ambition Gene

Sometimes I wish someone would just shut off the damn amibition gene in my DNA. Since that probably isn’t possible, could I just have a lobotomy? In the style of Julie & Julia, I’ve decided to blog about my journey to writing The Great American Novel. What the hell? I’ve never been one to jump on a bandwagon or take to a trend. This must be the one I’ve been waiting for. So, yeah, I’m gonna blog about it…. write the pain, sorrow, stupidity, blah blah blah…. actually for those who have been privy to my serialized accounts of my life in Italy, this will be round two and for those that have never read them, well hold on….. you’re in for a bit of romantic fodder. It’s not just the story of two people falling in love…. it’s my journey through the ups and downs of living in a foreign county… dealing with a foreign man…. raising a toddler alone and as an ex-pat…. but also a journey to understand myself better.

Something feels very different about this goal…. like this is the one that REALLY matters… .the one that’s the culmination of years of knowledge….. the one that will count almost as much as the goal that took me Across the Pond.

Let’s hope, huh?

gloria